Saturday, January 22, 2011

Sir,You Seem To Have Forgotten Your...

I was sitting in the doctors office the other day. The waiting room more specifically. The place I spend WAY TOO MUCH OF MY TIME! Kinda off by myself, to avoid getting into some creeper conversation with, well a creeper of course. I hate to admit it, but I was playing Angry Birds on my phone, rather than reading an outdated medical journal or medication pamphlet to add to my knowledge. Yep, I was basically wasting my time, wasting further time.

Some days I like to kind of, well how should I say this...eavesdrop in the waiting room. Listen in on all the little conversations that are being had. Basically being extremely nosey. Hey, what can I say, I'm human. And all humans have curiosities! Well today, wasn't really one of those days. It was early, and I was sleepy, and slightly grumpy for having to be there in the first place. So I just decided to stick with my game of Angry Birds until my name was called to go back.

Now, I must have REALLY been into my game, because I didn't catch all the gasping and nervousness being displayed by the other equally as bored waiting patients, until I heard the nurse speak up, rather loudly at that. I glanced up to see a rather confused gentleman standing there, right in front of me...pantless. Yes, you did read that right...PANTLESS. Meaning, without pants. Catchin' my drift?!? I was sitting, Angry Birds in hand, he was standing, right in front me, looking lost, which put me at that prime spot to be staring right at his junk, which was right in my face. Yep.

So now, I'm panicking. Like really panicking. Oh my eyes! MY EYES!! If I bend my head forward and bury my face in my lap, I will probably bump his junk with my forehead. That can't happen. CAN NOT HAPPEN!! I immediately avert my eyes, but even still, I can still see it!! Yes, IT!!! Minutes seem to pass, even an hour seems to approach, although I know that can't be true. I'm sweating. Not just like a little sweaty palms, but really SWEATING. And breathing, hard and fast. Somehow I need to abort this situation. Become one of Sybil's personas. Hold my breath until I pass out. Slither down onto the ground like a snake avoiding all contact with the aforementioned junk. Scream for help. Toss my phone in the other direction to divert him and allow for my escape. Something! Anything! I just need out!! Like NOW!!

Then comes the voice of an angel..."Mr. George (the name has been changed to protect the innocent), you seem to have forgotten your pants following your exam." The sweet nurse turned him around by the shoulder and led him back into the room where people are supposed to be naked!

Oh how prayers are answered!! Hallelujah! I was saved! My vision returned! However it did take most of the day!


9 comments:

Jennilee said...

hahahaha thats so funny, and since it didn't happen to me i can laugh even more!! haha good time

ecar4070 said...

Did this actually happen Lisa??

I think I'm going to die laughing. In the office I'm thinking of??

LOL

elaine

Karen said...

Dude, that is unbelievable. You should have blown real hard at it to see if it would start swinging!!

Cortney said...

seriously mom. blow on it?? wow! lees you need to write a book. this stuff is unbelievable! i excited for you to step up the blogging!

Karrie said...

What a way to win us back....junk :) lol I love ur posts.

jeniece said...

dude. you should have winked at him.

Jenn said...

Lees, I love it! I love reading your blog.
And "My eyes. MY EYES!" . . . favorite episode. We need a girl night.
Thank you for such a good laugh! Keep 'em coming.

Devyre' said...

AAAAAAAAHHHHHH AWESOME!!!!
That was the best EVER!!!! I hurt from laughing so hard!! Oh Lisa!!!

Swensons said...

Lis! Thanks for the comments on jarris! We need to get together asap! We haven't seen you guys forever! Hope all is going well! xoxoxo Nic